Controlling The Uncontrollable

37.2 trillion cells, and a little bit of cosmic power, in a sense, is all we really are. But why are we here? Why now? Why in this shape, size, and form? Those are questions that I frequently find lingering in the depths of my mind, and sometimes I can’t brush off the nagging feeling that we are simply placed into Earth in a certain way for a real purpose. Maybe it’s to play out our destiny, and in the process try to pretend to live life to our fullest potential. Or maybe it’s for playing the role of the self-destructing, short living, but equally powerful anti-hero. All of these thoughts combined bring me to the question, Does every life have a purpose?

I undoubtedly feel yes, it does. It cannot be a mere coincidence the indescribable, possibly nondescript experiences that we endure in life. It’s almost as if we are pieces in a chess game, and while this is a conventional phrase, I view it through a different lens. I feel we aren’t just the pawns, but instead a variety of different chess pieces. Those born with everything, start out as kings and queens, while those with nothing, the have-nots, are the pawns. However, we cannot forget, just like every person has the potential to achieve greatness, a pawn can become a queen. The only caveat is, a either a higher power or one’s own self  must evoke your consciousness to be able to do so, and while it may happen for some people, for others, it tragically doesn’t.

Now the subsequent question I present here is: are we in control of our life? Are we in control of our inputs, our outputs- both or neither? Are we the ones deciding our purpose in life? Or were we born with everything laid out for us? If so, who designed this for us?

These questions can all lead to a never-ending spiral of thoughts, beliefs, and theories. For example, what about a junior in high-school whose dream is to study architecture at Yale? She/he has been working so hard, determined to ace the SAT, taking practice test after practice test, and each produces a near impeccable result. Fast forwarding to the significant test day, the student goes in confident, but comes out with a result that leaves much to be desired. 

How is it that someone, who puts in an unfathomable amount of effort, can have their hopes, dreams, and possibly life trajectory crushed in just that single test result? Sadly, It’s almost ironic in life,  that the more you desire/expect a particular outcome the smaller the chance that you’ll actually receive it. Hence, if we can put in our very best into whatever we do, why then are our outputs sometimes so underwhelming, sometimes to a point of absurdity, where we are left questioning, “What on earth did I do wrong?”

Regrettably, oftentimes, it’s not what you did, but what was already done for you. It almost feels like the existence of an invisible hand orchestrating outcomes you least expect. While some might argue then, why perform any action at all, especially if you know there is a great chance that it might not work out at all for you? 

I believe that this would be akin to questioning the unquestionable, for your actions cannot and should not be performed expecting a certain desired outcome. This is because outcomes cannot ever be controlled by us as an individual. Here quantum physics comes to my rescue.  Particles, waves or wavicles all have infinite number of possible states. Why can’t outcomes follow a similar trajectory?

For example, what if you were born into an impoverished family? Was that something you, yourself decided? Or was it something that was decided for you? Was the purpose of you being born in a low-income family so you could play out a success story, where you build your way up in life? Or was it so you could struggle and go through the horrid “life experience” of trying to make ends meet, every hour, every day?

The more I reflect the clearer it becomes for me. A conclusion, that nonetheless I could change my mind on, given time and more experience. In my world, I think we possess a sense of control, even if it’s an illusion. 

The eternal religion- Hinduism, believes in the one single underlying entity that’s within all of us-Brahman. Brahman is pure consciousness and the eternal God. In this version of the world, God is simply the sum total of the body, minds and intellect of all sentient and insentient beings and shines and resides as pure awareness- a quantum wave that’s all pervading.

Every bit of knowledge that everyone possesses combined is God, which leads me to believe that we have some control - to fulfil our purpose, because after all we are a part of God ourselves. The purpose for which we are here is only significant because it is pre-decided. Put differently, we all remain, a part of the long-term game. When they tell you that you decide what you achieve in life, they merely mean you pick from the tiny number of options you were destined for or given. Your purpose is what you will fulfil through your actions or your inputs. Then what about the outcomes/outputs? They were under no circumstances yours to begin with. That just is the truth of life.